In Full Swing

Hi everyone. I can’t sleep at the moment–it’s been a problem for a while now, but that’s ok! I just wanted to get my hands on this keyboard and write and write and write and write.

Things are “in full swing”–we play our first tournament this week and I’ve been up to my nose in reading and writing and binge watching YouTube videos of little importance. It’s been real. It’s been fun. I’d even say it’s been real fun.

Things I’m obsessed with lately:

  • Coffee. Now that school is back in session, my morning coffee is my best friend.
  • Distractions. I’m currently trying to constantly distract myself because of all the exciting things that could happen but haven’t happened and may not happen and what not. Music and random YouTube vids are my go-to.
  • Glitter. Glitter is good. Glitter is wonderful. Glitter is extremely hard to clean, but it just adds a little something, you know?
  • The Dixie Chicks. I’ve popped in one of their old CDs in my car and I forgot I how much I love them. I don’t listen to a whole lot of country, but they (and George Strait) definitely top my list in that category.
  • Chacos. Chacos are life.
  • My Dumbo Pillowpet. He’s so cute and cuddly and he’s always there.
  • Wishing on stars. I’m doing a lot of that these days.
  • My team. Most of the girls I’m playing with are new, and I just love them already. This has been the most cohesive team I’ve played on in a while, and I’m having a blast with them.
  • Schoolwork. I’m in World Mythology and I am loving it. I can’t wait to lovingly critique Disney’s Hercules after I learn more.
  • That’s all.

I know this has been a random/ short post, but it’s done wonders for my chaotic mind. I always get to thinking too much when the sun goes down (who doesn’t?), and sometimes I just need to construct a fun little blog post to ease the constant conversation with myself (side note: isn’t it weird that we are literally talking internally to ourselves ALL THE TIME?!).

Goodnight, everyone. I hope you enjoyed all the nonsense that has taken place.

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“To Sleep, Perchance to Dream”

One of my goals for my Christmas break (which began today–yay!) is to break away from the nasty cycle of insomnia–I’m tired of staying up until one or two in the morning, the dark enveloping my thoughts in its tight, merciless grip. I wish I could look up at the night sky and see twinkling, optimistic little stars. Instead, I see distant points of light that remind me of just how small I really am.

I’ve never really liked nighttime at all, as you can tell.

The funny thing is, I always seem so awake during the time set aside for sleeping, even if I was exhausted the entire day. Today, for example, I drove six hours home and felt so tired as the familiar scenery flew by. It seems as if I’ve forgotten all about  the exhaustion I felt today, because now I sit behind the dim glow of my laptop trying to explain why in the heck I can’t sleep.

There’s really no concrete explanation, my friends.

My thoughts aren’t entirely anxious, although I’m not denying that anxiety is a key factor. A lot of times, I get so excited thinking about a future event that could be days, months, maybe years away and create fictional, yet wonderful, situations in which these events play out.

I guess you could say I do all my daydreaming while in the embrace of the unforgiving nighttime.

It’s a funny thing, insomnia. I feel as if it happens to those who are truly excited to take on the next day and the next, to those who are always scheming and daydreaming. It happens to those who thrive in the safety of the sunshine, yet shrink in the presence of an infinite blanket of stars that stir the deepest doubts that humanity harbors.

“To sleep, perchance to dream” {Hamlet}. If I accomplish one thing this entire break, it will be conquering the night’s heavy blanket of thinking and scheming and doubt, and succumbing to welcome rest.

Sweet dreams, everyone.